Interviewing Techniques

In one of my classes I had an assignment to teach on the basics of interviewing techniques. Months before I had the opportunity to attend a workshop put on by the Investigative Reporters and Editors group. Using some information given by their presentation along with information taught by our professor I was able to put together a presentation.

Losing someone close

*This is based on the religious beliefs of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints*

Losing a friend 

Three months before the end of my mission, I received an email from a friend from home. 

It said, “Brynne passed away. They think it’s suicide.” 

Brynne and I grew up dancing together and became close friends. She didn’t grow up in the church and didn’t care for my beliefs, but she respected me. 

During our senior year of high school we had a big fight over a boy. We all held friendships together, but he tried to date us both. It caused a huge rift in our friendship. 

When I learned of her death many questioned if I cared about losing her. I did. Although we fought over one guy, I cared about our relationship. I  tried to save our friendship at one point, but I failed. I had a lot of stuff going on at the time and I know, if I had not let them control me, I would have made things right.

Our friendship lasted six-years. A stupid fight would not stop me from feeling upset about losing her. 

I admit I felt our fight contributed to her committing suicide. I blamed myself for it, but most of all I feared what would happen to her in the next life. 

Years earlier a guy in high-school committed suicide. Many people knew him. After his death, most people flocked to the seminary building of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for comfort. 

At the time, a seminary teacher tried to explain which kingdom in heaven the fellow student would go to. Because suicide takes the life of someone, he didn’t think suicide victims could go to the Celestial Kingdom.

The knowledge concerned me, but I felt grateful I received the news about Brynne while on my mission. It gave me the opportunity to study the topic. 

Overcoming the Loss

The entire week I studied what happens to a person after they commit suicide and I found some calming truth. I studied a talk by Elder M. Russell Ballard. Some of the words in his talk “Suicide: Some Things We Do Know and Some We Do Not” stuck with me over the years.

In the talk he quoted Elder Bruce R. McConkie saying, “Suicide consists in the voluntary and intentional taking of one’s own life, particularly where the person involved is accountable and has a sound mind. Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their acts. Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the Lord’s; he knows and thoughts, intents, and abilities of men; and he and his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course.”

I found peace in the statement. If Brynne struggled with the stress, I believed she May have not had control of her action; she may have ended up in a higher Kingdom than the Telestial.

Knowing God would judge her on more than one decision brought peace to my heart. 

I continued to study up on the topic and found many answers and talks and scriptures. 

Helping those Struggling with Suicidal Thoughts

After I got home from my mission, a companion of mine came home early; she struggled a lot. Her family faced a lot of difficulties and she lost her boyfriend to suicide a month after I got home. She began to have her own Suicidal Tendencies and I knew I needed help but I didn’t know how. 

She came home early from her mission and shortly after my brother left for his; he made it about two months before he, as well, came home. He also had Suicidal Tendencies. His suicidal thoughts made it so his companion couldn’t leave his side, even when he had to use the restroom. His mission president knew he needed to go home to get help.

I experienced the loss of a friend to Suicide. Then I learned about my brother and a mission companion having thoughts about it in the same year. I couldn’t believe it. During the same time, I experienced my own Suicidal Thoughts but I felt I needed to help others first. 

I wanted to help my brother, but his stubbornness pushed me away. Distance didn’t help either. He lived with my family while I lived at school. Luckily my parents, his friends, and medical professionals helped him through it. 

After seeing him cared for and becoming better I made an attempt to do the same for myself, so I could better help others struggling.

I did my best to help my mission companion. She pushed me away as well, but I did my best to help her with the time she gave me. She eventually grew better with time. 

I feared losing more people to Suicide. Learning about my brother terrified me. It terrified us all. We see so many with depression and Suicidal Tendencies and sometimes we can’t help, but we can try. 

6.7% of adults in the United States experience depression. Thousands die from suicide while millions attempt it. Although difficult, we have opportunities to stop others from getting to this point. 

Reach out to another person that may suffer from depression even if they push-you away. If you don’t know how to help, try taking a class or looking up ways to help. I took a class and I plan to use this information if I ever meet another struggling person. 

If you know someone that has lost a friend or loved one to Suicide, Comfort them. A lot of the time someone close to the victim will question if they had anything to do with the suicide. I felt this way and it took me sometime to realize it would be okay. I had the comfort of a mission companion to help me see I didn’t have anything to do with the death and shouldn’t worry so much. 

If you lost a close friend or loved one, reach out for help. Whether or not you need that Comfort, finding help after such a loss will benefit you in ways you may not expect.

Most of all study the topic. It seems like a difficult topic to study but it brings peace to those who do.